Diary of a Lazy Man - The First Part is Easy

Getting started on something new is easy and exciting. Remember the first time you drove a car on your own? It was exhilarating and fun, and though you hit the gas instead of the brake and wound up with your car parked inside a Slurpee machine, it was still amazing and you thought, "I could do this all day, every day!" even as the smell of cherry syrup and the sounds of police sirens slowly worked their way into your consciousness.

And now, though you might still enjoy driving for a road trip, the daily commute is such a slog of tedium and frustration that you feel like driving though a convenience store wouldn't be so bad. At least it would be something different, and while you're waiting for the cops and the insurance adjuster, you could see if they've got any new Slurpee flavors.

As I mentioned last time, a trip to urgent care revealed that I clocked in at 236.7 pounds, a weight that just doesn't work for me. I've got just over a year to hit my goal of a healthy adult weight for me, shooting for 160. And I'm not just shooting for lower weight, but better athletic ability, too. I've had all that before, and would like it again, taking into consideration that I'm 15 years older now.

It'd be easy to start things off right by replacing burritos with broccoli, pizza with...some healthy thing that starts with 'p' (papaya, maybe?), TV time with treadmill time, cut carbs, fight fat and pound protein. Do it all at once. It'd be the 'new me'. For about a week. After that, I'd relapse so hard, the Pacific Northwest would experience 'The Great Pizza Drought'. Plus, I hate broccoli. What a crappy excuse for a vegetable.

I'm about as likely to get up in the morning and make a smoothie as I am to snort a couple of lines of laundry detergent and jam to Ace of Base.

So, incremental change is what I'm after. If you read fitness sites, they call this a lifestyle change. It's not, unless you consider going from eating two Taco Bell burritos to one Taco Bell burrito a change in lifestyle. People show up with "One Life, One Burrito" t-shirts and welcome me with a knowing nod and a tip of the hot sauce packet. Whatever. All I'm trying to do is start with something I won't quit in 4 weeks. I eat fewer burritos and maybe once in a while I go play some racquetball instead of sitting on the sofa. The sofa will still be there. It's not going to float away.

I started tracking what I eat, too. I'll write more about the tools I'm using and how I've adopted standard units of measurement when eating, because measurements like "a crapton" make it difficult to gauge food intake on any objective level.

Making easy changes at first has paid off a little bit. My weigh-in today was at 225.6 pounds, so I've lost just over 20 burritos. Or 10 pounds, if you like standard units of measurement. I suspect it'll get harder to lose more burritos in the future, but it's been a good start.1

  1. Cover image by Oceanview Med Spa. Licensed under Creative Commons